By Yourself Boy… (1988 – 2007)
By Yourself Boy… (1988 – 2007) - Nii Ayikwei Parkes
By Yourself Boy… (1988 – 2007)
Q1
The basketball games I used to watch were
taped from a scrambled channel, had no sound
to speak of. I used to replay them in my head,
lend my own fillip to the images, splice them
into details: a hand like the arc of a mother’s
belly awaiting the return of a ball sent down
to concrete; a half-raised foot – pre-fake and swivel;
a fall, fluid and dramatic, alive with the sweat
of exertion. For me, the moves had no names
but there were patterns in the chaos; determination
flexed hard on five faces usually muscled a win.
Q2
Those games had a silent energy that hung over
me, left clouds in my head that school could not
disperse. Walking past the main court for my piano
lessons, I would stop, listen to the older boys bragging,
belittling each other as they contorted their bodies
into screens of guile. I only went four times before
I skipped my first lesson – enough time for me to learn
scales, how to hold my hand above the keys, curved
like a basketball, but not enough to play anything
but do re mi and the bass lines of hit songs I’d heard
at the time. It seemed like music had lost the battle.
Q3
I learnt the language of the court: how to bow
low to breeze beyond the barriers of the zone,
crack my opponents by calling them names, advising
them to go home, spend some time alone learning
the rudiments of the game. This became my music –
the trash talk notated with polyrhythms of bounce,
the oohs and ahhs, the slick refrain of a swish shot.
I saw no connection between my new world and the one
I had deserted – the high post of the piano’s back
the timed tap of feet, the bounce of hammers responding
to fingers and wires – until nineteen years later.
Q4
Nat King Cole’s on the TV staring hard at his audience,
his hands setting up plays while he sings. Ray Charles
said he sang so damn well people forgot how good he was
on keys, and I see it now: his right hand stuffs a melody
down the grand piano’s throat – that’s the fake – he dribbles
the sound down to low notes until you expect the left hand
to come in lower. That’s when he breaks mould, hustles
his left hand over the right, throws high notes into your ear
– crossover, up, swish. Now the trash talk it’s better to be
by yourself boy…He smiles like the silent men on my tapes
and, suddenly, every move has a name, a sound, a history.
from The Geez (Peepal Tree, 2020), © Nii Ayikwei Parkes 2020, used by permission of the author