when did you start feeling like this

why must we be with everything
or against it why not
try on thoughts like ‘black’ denim
chafed from overuse especially
around the crotch where the irrational stuff happens
we’re at it again going in pulling out – the hole
before the ELECTRIC bus re-starts is plugged
by an ambulance (BLAST!) – when inflamed
let’s not beat the bad ideas let’s violently
WIPE the good ones –
let’s not pretend we don’t know
every noise is an attempt 
on the senses – all words
and phrases are too tranquil
to describe what we FEEL
when we look at dead bodies we feel
ourselves what’s left of US after
deodorisation oh so what
if I said you were BEAUTIFUL and
nearly meant it I don’t mean that
beautifulness is accessible like
a takeaway delivery and how is that NOT
an oxymoron – it’s the opposite
of POLITICS which is concerned only with things
that can be talked about and
we’re not BORN talkers
it took at least 2 years to talk
about the curiosities we got handed
none of which we asked for or last
except a CERTAIN QUANTITY of guilt – btw
– TROPICAL WINTER IS COMING IN –
where are you FROM? I’m from
my mother via several buildings and
occasions wondering if I’ve really
considered EVERYone else’s feelings

unpublished poem, ? Heather Phillipson 2015, used by permission of the author

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