Headliners

HEADLINERS

HE SAID THAT NECROPHILIA WAS NOW LEGAL
PROVIDED YOU CAN FIND A CONSENTING PARTNER.

MAKE NO BONES ABOUT IT:
CREMATION IS THE WAY TO GO.

JOIN THE GOVERNMENT BOOKMAKING SCHEME:
PUT YOUR MONEY ON A GOOD NIGHT’S REST.

OR JOIN THE JESUS SURFERS CLUB:
WE WALK THE WAVES.

TRY THIS ON MY TOMBSTONE:
I ALWAYS FANCIED SOME TIME ALONE.

THE INSURMOUNTABLE PROBLEMS THAT FOLLOW DIVORCE:
WHO GETS TO KEEP THE COPY OF ULYSSES, THE CD OF DEAD KENNEDYS?

EVER THOUGHT YOU WERE IN THE WRONG JOB:
A PRIEST HOPS OVER A FENCE TO AVOID HIS PARISHIONERS.

I INHERITED THE GENE OF BLACK URINE:
BATHTIMES ARE NOT SO SUBTERFUGE.

I ALWAYS INHERITED THE GENE OF THE SKELETAL FISH:
I FIND MY OWN BONES BETWEEN MY TEETH.

HE SAID HE HAD MET HENDRIX, PRAISED THE LOOKS OF HIS DAUGHTER & GLOATED OVER MY WIFE:
NEXT DAY I FOUND HE WAS THE CREATOR OF THE SEX-CRIME GENRE.

THERE ARE TWO HOLES IN A FENCE IN BNP COUNTY:
IF A WHITE CONICAL HAT APPEARS, THAT’S NOT MR WHIPPY.

THE STRUCTURE IS A SICK FISH:
THE WAY IT SWIMS IS HOW IT IS.

ALL CATHOLICS LAPSE HE SAID:
YOU KNOW, LIKE DOGS MOULT IN SUMMER.

ANGELS WITHER LIKE TOES IN ANKLE SOCKS:
THEY BLISTER AS WE WATCH MTV.

from Zeppelins (Salt, 2008), ? Chris McCabe 2008, used by permission of the author and the publisher.

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