Listen to the world’s best poetry read out loud.

Week 6

I’m reduced to reading Tolkien

to The Dog, who hides under the table

when the Nazgûls come.

Week 7

I read him Barchester Towers,

but after page two he buries his nose

in his tail and falls asleep.

Week 8

On page two hundred and four

of the dictionary, there’s a smudge

shaped like a pawmark.

Week 9

Amazon’s delivered an Advanced Maths book

that I didn’t order, addressed to a Mr D Barker.

My spectacles have been missing for three days.

Week 10

The Dog’s left me a note, saying

that his food dish can be in two places

at once, so could I fill it twice.

Week 11

The Dog’s trying to teach me Tensor Calculus.

Stop complaining, he growls. How else

are you going to understand General Relativity?

Week 12

The Dog’s written a novel, vaccinated

half the population of Wales in his spare time,

and is phoning the local hospital about me.

Week 13

Owing to unfortunate circumstances, my human

will be writing no more entries. Please remain in your homes

and wait for the sound of barking at your door.