Heart of litter

A shard of glass wedges into my skin

like a last goodbye:

 

the words slice like tin can lids

but rust twice as slow

 

and though I’ve air-lifted each last

broken neck of bottle

 

still bleeding

and bubbling

its guts to the ground,

 

I cling on

like chewing gum

stuck to the cracked teeth

of this town.

 

It’s 5am.

The dawn shakes out the dew.

 

I shake out a slim black liner

and sweep up my excuses;

 

blackhole the butt ends

still busking their smoke

into the cracks

of the pavement;

 

the bus tickets

basking in the streetlight,

gulping at its glow

until black ink

blinks

to grey;

 

the crumpled caress

of a brown paper bag

still cradling the crumbs

that remain.

 

It’s 6am.

The rain pinches the pavement

and the last of my dreams.

 

I steal a glimpse at a puddle

cosying up to the bin,

 

kissing away the rust

that rims its tired lips

and remember

 

that I used to be like this.

 

It’s 7am.

The puddle yawns into the soil

and so I yawn too,

body from bone.

 

I see myself trapped

inside its glassy stare –

 

sifting through

lashes of leaves

I scratch the silt

and slugs

from the windowpane,

 

searching for something to cling onto

in this moon of water.

 

It’s 8am.

I quit.

 

The words snag in my throat

like carrier bags

caught on a branch

 

widowed by the wind

not knowing which way to turn.

 

I can’t quit.

 

I’d sooner tin my heart in brine

or the grime of this gutter

 

than wallow empty-handed

as the womb

of a crisp-packet wrapper

 

still sucking the salty cry

from its walls.

unpublished poem, © Jade Cuttle 2019, used by permission of the author.

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