Why Did the Jews Kill Jesus, Dad?


Why did the Jews kill Jesus?
‘Cos Jesus was a Jew!
A trouble-making rebel,
And stroppy with it too.

He argued with his betters
An’ ‘ung about with yobs,
Chastisin’ money-lenders
An’ lecturin’ the nobs.

They didn’t take that kindly,
No more they would today,
They fitted him up proper, son,
An’ chucked the key away.

The rabbis called on Pontius
To seize him to be tried,
An’ though old Pilate waffled,
They ‘ad him crucified.

Then one of his disciples,
(A clever git named Paul),
Created a religion,
Complete with Popes an’ all.

‘Course, both the Jews and Hayrabs
Are Semites to the core;
Their ancestor was Shem, son –
So when they ‘ave a war

It’s likely to be nasty!
A civil war, d’you see?
Now do yer bloody homework,
An’ let me eat me tea.

from When Jack Sued Jill: Nursery Rhymes for Modern Times Book and CD (Ebury Press, 2006), © Felix Dennis 2006, used by permission of the author.

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